Quake Wars Jokes

(Stroggafier) #21

Something along those lines…

Why did the Infiltrator prefer a Cyclops?
So he could keep an eye out for the enemy.

(Stroggafier) #22

What do you get when you make a 13 year old into a Field Ops?

Vampire Diaries.

(Apples) #23

A wise old man once told me: “I’m a wise old man, so I’m allowed to touch you in the bathing suit area” nothing to do with qw, but I liked this … joke.

peace

(Stroggafier) #24

In the midst of battle, an engineer was repairing his APT. Suddenly, he hears “Grenade!” Realizing the grenade bounced off the APT some distance, and pleased with himself for finishing the repair, he takes his time backing away from his turret with pliers still in hand…right into the sights of a nearby infiltrator.

Hehehe. Works every time, snickers the infiltrator.

The moral: Perhaps pliers prevent personal pulverization ploy but fail to shield snickering sniper’s scoped shot.

(signofzeta) #25

[QUOTE=Stroggafier;207312]What do you get when you make a 13 year old into a Field Ops?

Vampire Diaries.[/QUOTE]

I think this one is better than mine, but I’m trying to take into account of the perpetual night time in the antarctic half of the slipgate map as part of my joke, and that vampires are not active during the daytime or when there is light.

Ok this is a bad one.

Strogg1: You know your desecrator can strafe right?
Strogg 2: But I can’t
Strogg 1: Why would that be?
Strogg 2: I’m playing on the xbox 360.

Or in a similar note

Why are xbox 360 players rude compared to PS3 and PC players? Because they can’t say thank you.
PC players say you’re welcome in response. What do xbox 360 players say? GET A FREAKIN HEADSET.

(Stroggafier) #26

@signofzeta, your last joke is the best of your bunch. :slight_smile:

(Party) #27

[QUOTE=Stroggafier;207399]In the midst of battle, an engineer was repairing his APT. Suddenly, he hears “Grenade!” Realizing the grenade bounced off the APT some distance, and pleased with himself for finishing the repair, he takes his time backing away from his turret with pliers still in hand…right into the sights of a nearby infiltrator.

Hehehe. Works every time, snickers the infiltrator.

The moral: Perhaps pliers prevent personal pulverization ploy but fail to shield snickering sniper’s scoped shot.[/QUOTE]

Stroggafier = new Baisiley?

(GUNSL1NG3R) #28

Add in[more] of these][][][ , mix[randomize the sentence] it up a bit and throw in a question or two [yoda speek] and then remove the spaces[whoneedsthemanyway]?[

then maybe

but I think not

:oppressor:

(Stroggafier) #29

A Strogg starship crash landed in the remote town in the Tiaga. A few dazed Strogg struggled out only to find a mob of locals running at them with arms waving and shouting,
"Эй. Кто - Вы? Выйдите из нашей страны!.

The Strogg raised their weapons, but being dazed managed to blast away only half of the brain of every villager. Amazingly, they kept running and shouting,
"Hey[aliens unwanted]! [maybe don’t know]YouWhoare?Country[Russe]mine not[yours]]outget?!

Sorry, It was too much of a temptation. :o

(light_sh4v0r) #30

That should’ve read:
“Hey aliens [unwanted], In Soviet Russia, country gets out you!”

Learn your Basileyspeak!

(Scrupus) #31

Q: How many monkeys will it take to fix the old forums?

A: So many that when the Strogg invasion starts in 2056, there won’t be any human food left - they’ll find the Planet Of the Apes! :eek:

:stroggtapir: :stroggflag:

(XVI the Great) #32

Low blow, man, low blow!

PS Hello people his is FatalKingX, your favorite anti-boost/stacker guy.

Edit: I’m XVI becuase that’s what I changed my gamertag to post-registry on ETQW forums.

p.s. even in russia, where woman are bear-alike and wear ushanka’s with red star and play balailaka and drunken all day/night.

(signofzeta) #33

[QUOTE=XVI the Great;208172]

p.s. even in russia, where woman are bear-alike and wear ushanka’s with red star and play balailaka and drunken all day/night.[/QUOTE]

In Basiley speak

In Russia/ woman bear-alike… ushaka’s

OK at least I tried didn’t I? I mean how to you people know how to do Basiley speak? I can’t, it is just too hard.

(Stroggafier) #34

“Sergeant, the Macron wants this message sent using the human’s postal service!”, ordered the Strogg lieutenant.
“Yes, sir!” replied the dyslexic Aggressor.
“And Sergeant, don’t forget the stamp” added the lieutenant.
“No sir” replied the Aggressor, who quickly turned and boarded the nearest Cyclops.
In no time, the ground was shaking and thundering and the Strogg lieutenant was being thrown to the ground by the seismic thumping of the Cyclops.
Realizing this was going to be serious if he didn’t take immediate action, the officer shouted into his intercom, “I said STAMP, STAMP!”

(XVI the Great) #35

[QUOTE=Stroggafier;208431]“Sergeant, the Macron wants this message sent using the human’s postal service!”, ordered the Strogg lieutenant.
“Yes, sir!” replied the dyslexic Aggressor.
“And Sergeant, don’t forget the stamp” added the lieutenant.
“No sir” replied the Aggressor, who quickly turned and boarded the nearest Cyclops.
In no time, the ground was shaking and thundering and the Strogg lieutenant was being thrown to the ground by the seismic thumping of the Cyclops.
Realizing this was going to be serious if he didn’t take immediate action, the officer shouted into his intercom, “I said STAMP, STAMP!”[/QUOTE]

Perhaps he had a UK accent which would go, Stomp sotmp as stamp stamp?

No? sigh.

(XVI the Great) #36

:stroggtapir:[QUOTE=signofzeta;208385]In Basiley speak

In Russia/ woman bear-alike… ushaka’s

OK at least I tried didn’t I? I mean how to you people know how to do Basiley speak? I can’t, it is just too hard.[/QUOTE]

cowardly laughung, alien inside crowds of aliens servants[some masonic branch to be exact], before i kill him and blow up place[did you see “kill bill” movie ? no ? see then. and related(1st from 1 season) “Robo Chiken” TV Show

Should I start a Basiley-speak thread?

Edit: haha hey is this the ETQW basiley? http://basiley.livejournal.com/profile

(WhiteAden) #37

that would be the perfect picture… but I doubt it… :frowning:

anyone with a LiveJournal account please ‘connect’ with him and point him here!

(light_sh4v0r) #38

haha, was gonna say the same thing :smiley:
As soon as I saw the pic it just HAD to be him.

(XVI the Great) #39

[QUOTE=light_sh4v0r;208556]haha, was gonna say the same thing :smiley:
As soon as I saw the pic it just HAD to be him.[/QUOTE]

Well, I guess I’ll try to nudge him in the right direction. It says he last logged in like 3 years ago though, lol. Did you guys read all of his interests?

(light_sh4v0r) #40

I hadn’t but I’m sure it’s him now, the word order and use of brackets speak for themselves :slight_smile:
Also check the other picture, he looks a little bit more like he’s interested in that one.