most funny noobish action - post your experiences!

[Warrzie]

Ah, Ranstation’s story reminded me of one incident…it was at the end of the game and one person, through out the WHOLE game, had been stepping and killing himself on my mines. When we were preparing to change maps he asked ‘What do those flags with the M’s on them mean?’.

[Master_o_Covert_Ops]

One really funny thing that happened to me was a few days ago in gold rush… I was an axis Covert Ops and our team was pushed back really fast. I was crawling around near the gun enplacement in the courtyard outside the bank. I got stuck so when I saw someone coming up the stairs out of the corner of my eye, I couldn’t see what team they were on. I waited, assuming they were a friend, and got rudely surprised as they were shooting me with their pistol. :eek: I just thought it was another team-killer and was ready to hit F1. He didn’t kill me, I watched him use the gun to kill a teammate. :disgust: I decided to get up and end this teamkiller’s life. One problem, he wasn’t a teamkiller. He was an allied Covert Ops, :banghead: I killed him right there and wondered, “Why didn’t he finish killing me? I had no costume on…” :drink:

[shao]

had a couple of classics with mines on oasis…
our team had mined the entrances to the main courtyard. I was low on ammo, so trying to conserve bullets… anyway, an allied guy pops round the corner, creeping into the entrance, stands on a mine. Usual paniced reaction looking around wondering that to do. He stands still, and croches to allow his team mates over his head. i’m just sat behind a bost leaning round the corner waiting for the impending catastrophe… First one bounds over without a care in the world, didn’t think there’d be another mind 2 feet infront… triggers it off, kills himself, the guy stood on the mine, and 1 or 2 other team mates behind him. Classic! and i didn’t have to use a bullet!

different game, same kind of situation. A guy has stood on a mine, and figured he’s safe as long as he doesn’t move, dunno how long he was stood there, but i couldn’t see any mine smoke. He’s stood there, so i shoot him ( i have plenty of ammo this time), and sit back and chuckle as his feet fall off the mine, his body triggers one next to it, and then another 3. Very spectacular. Normally i hate mines, other than the XP i get from reviving people after trying to collect the flags, but there’s been some great comedy moments come out of them already.

[Shiznit]

lol
n00bs can also be very useful…
on depot i was an allied covert ops and the grate was blown…i started to run towards the depot. half way throught the tunnel i noticed a engy. so we went to the depot and i let us in. then i instruvted him to plant a dynamite at the fuel dump…then we chatted for the rest of the game

[Iamthefallen]

My own:
My biggest blunder was on Oasis, I’m playing allied engineer and doing a fairly decent job of it. There’s another ally engineer who’s also on top of his game so we both repeatedly almost plant at a gun for a long time.

After a while he succeeds in planting as I’m spawning back in the old city. I rush through the tunnels as I hear the boom and the “north anti tank gun destroyed” message. So I move on, exit the tunnels, make a mad dash towards the southern entrance.
Now, I should explain: I’m playing on a slow p3 600mhz with a GF2MX/32mb, so when there’s a lot of action I typically see 5-10 fps. I usually avoid that by looking at the ground as I run over empty spaces - as long as my screen doesn’t fill up with enemies I’m ok.

So I keep my eyes mostly towards the ground, run up the stairs, plant the dynamite and prepare to defend it. We’re at the last minute or so of the game, there won’t be time for any more plants, this has to be it. So I stand my ground and kill several axis coming to defuse. As there is about 5 seconds left before the dynamite is to blow I V57 “Yeehaa!” Hear a loud BOOM behind me and…and…nothing…no messages, no game over, no victory.

I see a teammessage on my screen from my fellow engineer: “fallen you moron that’s the gun I already blew up!”. I look behind me, and surely enough the south gun is already blown, I bring up the command map and see that the north one is sitll quite intact. I misread the initial message and then, since I was looking at the grund in order to have decent fps I never noticed it was blown before planting…

Others mistakes:
Gold rush, I’m a ally covop in axis uniform. I spam “I’m a covert ops” repeatedly as is my habit after stealing a uniform. A teammate suddenly starts shooting at me, I go on crying “I’m a covert ops” mixed with “Hold your fire!” as I start to run away.
So he has a giant red cross on his screen, and cleary there’s a big blue shining exclamation mark over my head. Somehow I outrun him and run into a medic who sees I’m low on health, so he in turn starts giving health packs.
I’m now on my knees, holding a knife, crying “I’m a covert ops - hold your fire!” being given health packs by a medic, and still the “teammate” from before comes up really close and puts a few rounds in me. The medic heals me. “Teammate” waits, then shoots a few more rounds. Repeat again until I die. All along I’m crying “I’m a covert ops - hold your fire!”, the medic is healing me and I’m very non-threatening on my knees with a knife… sigh…

[Shiznit]

lol
i don’t think that was a noob iamthefallen
a lot of pros do that if they r bored (mainly cause of all the noobs on the server) :banghead: :banghead:

[Coolhand]

I wouldn’t call that the behaviour of a “pro”, Shiznit. I think the word that applies here is “teamkiller” (for which F1 is the answer)

[Iamthefallen]

Actually no, the guy was just a newbie, a very unattentive newbie.

[django]

what happened to me on the fuel dump was there was a n00b axis engineer who was running all the time with me and as i planted a dynamite at the allied command post he disarmed it :disgust:

[ScOuT_A]

Cradle the noobs, they will be tomorrows elite.

[Wicky]

I read all your noob war-stories but none can beat the n00b I met yesterday. Were were defending fuel dump as axis, me beeing an engineer when the allies somehow managed to blow the west(!) depot fence and plant a dyna at the fuel tank.
From the limbo I issued v35 defend objective and v36 disarm dynamite commands until the countdown was over, and I quickly ran to the depot, with plenty of time for disarming left.
But what do my eyes see when reaching the outside? Noob called [da]polak was standing at the defense, construction the western fence. Before I could say or do anything, he was finished building the fence and all of us were locked out, unable to disarm the dynamite. Boy was I mad. If you ever see him please kick him whenever you get the opportunity to

And another day there was a really funny thing with covert ops… That was during the days of ET-Beta map when the covert ops didn’t have that new flashy “stop” sign on the crosshair when aiming at a disguised team-mate.
I was allied covert ops knifing the heck out of the axis, when I met a axis field ops at the western command post with the ammo and health packs.
I wasn’t disguised, and feeling rather safe I grabbed for my cigarettes to light me one while waiting for the slow medipacks to heal me up, when the axis field ops came in. He looked at me, I was not disguised, but due to the distraction from grabbing my cigarettes I didn’t shoot him. So he just took a few medipacks from the shelf, turned around and went off.
I couldn’t stop laughing, the guy thought I was an axis covert ops disguised as ally !! ROTFL of course I quickly sprinted after him to place a knife in his neck for his mistake , but that was sooo funny

[X4er0]

and nobody experienced this… an allied team with medics and field ops and no egineer the whole time, yet still complaining spwanrape and even the teams, it ain’t quake or deathmatch, you need a engineer for cying out loud

[Danyboy]

Quick story:

On Fuel Dump - I had built bridge - axis engy goes to plant dyno and does

I run under and kill him and begin to defuse, noob engy comes along - kills me and carries on disarming the dyno :D:D:D

The public shouts of the 1st axis engy to stop are ignored and the tank crosses the bridge

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Also not really noobs but was in server yesturday with clan called -DA- map was radar and I had planted 5 mines at each radar post - the 2 DA guys kept on jumping on my mines and filing complaints - really peaved me off - re joined as allied and owned them though

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VTX1800N

[Kendle]

One yesterday that left me almost speechless. A Field-Ops called dFeated (yes, I like to name and shame) wasn’t handing out ammo. I was Med with no ammo, following him around spamming “I need Ammo!”.

After a while I gave up, and when I found a quiet corner typed out in teamchat “ffs, dFeated, pls give ammo”, to which he responded “fuck off and find your own ammo”. WTF? I can only assume this noob actually thought I wanted him to give me some of his ammo, leaving him with less.

[Rainman2784]

Ohh ohh… I GOT A GOOD ONE!

This happend to me a few hours ago.

I was playing Fuel Dump and i was on the Axis team working the mortar just outside the gate before the tank had gone over the bridge. ( i can hit a rabbit with the mortar ) i had the tank as my target and none of the allies could get close to fix it with out getting there guts splated all over the snow. as you know the mortar needs lots of ammo and luky me there was a Field ops standing right in front of me blasting away with his MP40 well i got down to 5 round and started calling for ammo… he didnt repond, then i had 1 left and didnt want to lose my target so i didnt fire it. the Field ops was still there, this time i called him by name and asked him to turn around and give me some ammo (i asked nicely) Still he ignored me :banghead: then he ran out of ammo and pulled out his ammo pack but he only gave himself ammo! :bash: i got pissed, i mean realy mad, i ran up behind him and stabed him with my Hitler youth knife and killed him, he filed a complaint and asked why i did it :eek3:

[Mystiqq]

Hi

Ive got one that i remember
In the Radar map, once i saw a guy took the radar part that is nearest to the main gate, runs back towards the truck, runs past it, and next i see him with the radar part at the side enterance :)) i tossed few WTFs

cheers
mystiqq

[_TR_Harpo]

gather round and ill tell you the story of the n00b that killed his entire team w/ an airstrike. It took place at a little map called Siwa oasis. We had just blown the old city wall and we all got killed(i hate panzers) and when we spawned he went to pull out the Ammo, but instead pulled ou the handy airstrike can. I wasnt facing the smoke so i didnt see, and someguys were standing around, getting ammo from onother guy when BAM!!! the screen lights up w/ " was killed by teammate ExOdUs. If you see him, DONT ASK FOR AMMO. i was pissed, but i also laughed my ass off.

[zoidberg]

On Battery, things were going fairly well for us allies, and I (a medic) managed to lead a newbie engy back to the gun controls. We get there, and he just starts wandering around the floor. I tell him, repeatedly “plant your dyno here,” and, after saying it several times, he seemed to get the hint. So, he starts cycling through his weapons, trying to find the dyno, but CAN’T, so he just wanders off. Same guy ends up getting killed on goldrush trying to eiher build the CP or repair the tank, because he CAN’T FIND THE PLIERS. :banghead:

Quick quasi off-topic, from the key-binding POV…I’ve redone my mouse from MWHEELUP/DOWN being weapon cycle to using them for UP->weaponbank5 and DOWN->weaponbank6 (I also remapped MOUSE2 to weaponbank3 from alt fire, and I’ve always used MOUSE3 for reload). It works really well, since I rarely used alt fire and never used weapon cycle. My problem is that my mousewheel zoom for scopes is nerfed. Any thoughts on how to correct this? I thought about scripting to rebind the mousewheel when I’m zoomed, but, since there are a lot of ways to exit zoomed mode, this doesn’t seem tenable. Ideas?

I know the topic of tk-revive has been debated here, at length, but I’ve another story from last night…we’re on goldrush, and I see one of my teammates, far from the action, with almost zero health, so I fire a shot, and he’s up, revived, and getting medpacks before he knows what happened. Usually, I’m of the mind that, if they don’t like tk-revive, they’ll just F1, and I won’t do it for them anymore. Oh, no…this guy’s new mission in life was to get me kicked. Vote, after vote, after vote. Topping it off, he went on a TK rampage. His name is LesterTheMolester…be wary, my friends. :banghead: :banghead:

[Dawg]

gather round and ill tell you the story of the n00b that killed his entire team w/ an airstrike. It took place at a little map called Siwa oasis. We had just blown the old city wall and we all got killed(i hate panzers) and when we spawned he went to pull out the Ammo, but instead pulled ou the handy airstrike can. I wasnt facing the smoke so i didnt see, and someguys were standing around, getting ammo from onother guy when BAM!!! the screen lights up w/ " was killed by teammate ExOdUs. If you see him, DONT ASK FOR AMMO. i was pissed, but i also laughed my ass off.

I’ve done that using my magical fat-fingers! I recall playing on Marketgarden and running from the flag as allies. I turn to toss ammo behind me and bounce my smoke canister off my teammates face. Then we both tried to pounce on the canister to cancel the airstrike which prevented either of us from actually getting over it. Luckily, only the two of us were still around when the plane came through.

I actually came seeking this thread to tell an ET newb story but Wicky beat me to it. I’ll tell it anyway.

I was an allied engie on Fueldump. I managed to sneak my way into the fuel depot. After a few minutes of trying to coax a covertOps to help me I gave up and planted dyno on the west gate. Surprisingly, no axis disarm it and it goes off. I dash in (getting injured on a mine - woulda been nice to have a covertOps around) and plant my dyno in the rear. About 5 seconds later an axis medic comes along and finishes me off. So I am sitting here on the ground hoping beyond hope that the axis wont’ disarm. Alas, here comes the noble axis engineer with his pliers at the ready to do his duty and rob me of victory. But wait! He doesn’t disarm the dyno, he rebuilds the gate. Allies Win! w00t!

Dawg

[LegoManser]

While being really frustrated on railgun, running around trying to do the work of my whole team I get killed. Automaticle, I am sent to spectating a guy who moves very funny. He was using the keyboard. A friend of mine was sitting right next to me, we just gave eachother the look and fell on the floor laughing. It saved my day. It was very mean, but it was just too hilarious. It fit in perfect. I was screaming at my team mates while this innocent guy just wanders around without getting any points. There was just something about it…

I too love seeing new guys trying to revive enemy bodies in the middle of a heavy showdown.

During warmup we were all enjoying ourself with flaming the spawn, killing everyone. Then suddently we started and a guy probably immediatly saw a chance to go for glory and get his own team as he just spins around while setting us all on fire. He just managed to write sorry before he got kicked because of too many complaints. Wait… That guy was me. I hate myself for that and I want to apoligize to everyone who was there, if you read this.