Petition for third team

(squint) #1

So, you’re trying to repair the tank, and theirs too much artillery hitting it for you to get even close. It’s a public server - what can you do? Well, the first thing to determine is "is it enemy artillery, or friendly?’. Generally, I’d say it’s a pretty good bet that it’s actually both. Infact, I’ve long suspected an unofficial agreement between opposing field ops on this issue - if they take it in turns they can keep the area pretty much 100% covered, and let’s face it, the tank is where the XP is, and neither teams field ops will benefit from the damn thing moving.

So, from a ‘lets win the b* game’ perspective, the first thing an aspiring engineer should do is seek out his own teams field ops. And kill him. This will make the tank 50% easier to approach.

Sadly, the XP system isn’t smart enough to deal with this, and may even penalise the engineer! This, then, is a petition to splash damage : please make a third team, and put all the field ops in it. It’s not like it will make any difference to the game as a whole, none of them really care who picks their ammo up so long as they get the XP, and engineers or even helpful team mates can kick the stuffing out of them without fear of retribution. Problem solved!
:drink:

(chr0nicles) #2

How about you try playing on a different server, with some more experienced players :wink:

(Sick Boy) #3

:huh:

Some remarks:

-Why would an allied field op spam the tank ???
-Why do you need to know whose artillery it is? It’s going to kill you anyway, unless you play on a FF off server, in which case you should be looking for another server
-You can tell whose artillery it is by the color of the smoke
-Axis fieldops do benefit when the tank gets repaired, that’s how they get their 10 XP
-Teamkilling a fieldops??? Why?
-A third team? Did you even think about what that would mean? Apparently not, if I may quote “It’s not like it will make any difference to the game”

:poke:

(BondyBoy007) #4

lol you funny man squint

(deej) #5

lol sick boy definitely lacks a sense of humour

(Sick Boy) #6

oops yeah I reread the post and it was completely different from what I thought I read the first time :uhoh:

(dime1622) #7

haha, yeah, i was confused at first too

(mouse) #8

I was thinking of how you possible could determine who would win, and then my brain kicked in, it wasnt meant serious. Lol great post :drink:

(Kendle) #9

Rubbish idea, we obviously need 4 teams, the 4th being uni-stealing Coverts. They play the game like they’re in a world of their own anyway, so let them be.

Actually, make that 5, mustn’t forget the Rambo Meds…

No, then again, the noob-stick Engy’s might feel left out, make it 6.

(mouse) #10

What about the panzers, they kill both friend and fo, dont forget them! Okay we got 7 teams now. Hmmm who is going to edit the maps to make appropriate spawnpoints and objectives? Volunteers?

(Mr_Tickles) #11

Ummm, cool, why not!

Each of the teams could have completely different objectives and you could have multiple teams winning (maybe they should compete amongst themselves)!

  1. The rambo medics could get the highest kill count as their objective and at the same time the least revive rate. You may think that’s easy… but, the smart medic would revive a fellow teammate in the hope he would revive him back so he could carry on with the killing…
  2. The field ops have to try to get as many ammo crates on the floor as they can, preferably outside their own spawnpoint and see if they can block people running out also.
  3. The engineers have to place as many mines as they can, and repair unecessary trucks strategically placed here and there around the map, also defuse each others dynamite and place their own in the hope that the first engie didn’t see him defuse his… etc.
  4. The uni-stealing coverts have to … well… steal as many uni’s as they can while trying (in disguise) to get shot by team mates.
  5. The panzer buddies have to take it in turn for a group of them to charge an enemy and surround him so he can’t move then get the other one to take aim, fire and take out the entire group of them… their objective would be to get the highest possible group kill with the added bonus of the highest teamkills… (they have to try to trap as many people amongst them as they can).

Team 6 and 7? well those are the original two. These are the two teams who set the time limit for the round. If the axis win, then the other teams would be happy as they have more time to annoy themselves. If the Allies win, everyone hates them, no execptions… none, … even themselves.

I think the games will pan out a bit like this…

  1. The field ops start dropping ammo outside their spawn.
  2. The rambo medics love ammo, really do, it’s their life line (get the irony huh huh?). So… they go after the field ops first looking for easy kills and ammo to restock.
  3. The uni-stealing coverts hide round the corner from the field ops spawn until the medics disperse so they can steal the uniforms then go looking for team doors.
  4. Unfortunately for the coverts, the panzer buddies are wise to all this action who meanwhile have made their way slowly to the field ops spawn where they wait for all the coverts to bend down and start stripping the other guys :huh: However, the coverts nearly get alerted through the mistaken identity of a panzer guy who rushes into their midst to allow his teammates to get at least one teamkill. The coverts who are now all in limbo, start kicking themselves as they realise that they were stealing fieldops uni’s and not panzer soldiers so they should’ve noticed the intruder! d’oh!
  5. Back in petrol-head land, all the trucks seem to be purring over tickedy-boo.
  6. The axis get into defensive positions ready to prevent the Allies from advancing. Then they get attacked from the rear by a group of red-cross doctors, and it’s not with scalpels!
  7. The Allies in all the confusion seem to be making some progress, all the minor objectives have been built by the engies, the camping axis are being over-run by blood-lustful medics.
  8. Meanwhile, the entire field-ops team respawns and one of their nervous members decides to arty their only exit thinking there may still be danger lurking outside and so and promptly stops so his teammates behind him get stuck… and promptly die… yet again.
  9. The panzer group minus one is left wandering the map in search of a lone, unsuspecting engineer wiggling his pliers at a brick/crate… the group sneak up from behind, surround the shocked mechanic, smile, then fire at their feet.
  10. With all the teams wiped out bar the Allies and the rambo medics (and a stray engie), the inevitable occurs, the allies get decimated while escorting the tank through an open valley.
  11. Coverts respawn… loads of dead bodies… enough said.
  12. By now the medics have once more run out of ammo so make their way over to the field ops spawn.
  13. Field-ops respawn… again. Start dropping ammo. This time they’re a bit more clued up, they go round the rear of their spawn building. They find the hiding coverts…
  14. The medics arrive.
  15. The panzers arrive after a quickly well timed spawn.
  16. Death.
  17. This time, Axis try to pre-empt the doctors and nurses by attempting an ambush. They lay in wait.
  18. Back in gotham city, Batman (the Allies) and robin (their… friends?) have sneakily neared the final objective while everyone is either paranoid, confused or suicidal. The global sound of “Dynamite Planted” rings through all players speakers, except those who have broken speakers, or have them unplugged because they don’t want to wake their parents (you know who you are!).
  19. All teams forget their prejudices and make a bee line for Hit-ssollini’s bedroom (the final objective).
  20. Every player wanting to do his/her part lets loose their most powerful attack. Rifle nades go flying in through the windows, panzer rockets blip in past the ears of…corn?, the coverts throw in … their clothes in a desperate attmept to scare the Allies into believing that there are ghosts in the shape of their dead teammates trousers who’ve come back to haunt them because they failed to give them appropriate cover in the past. The Axis troops pile in through the door as do the trigger-happy rambo-doctors who start shooting everyone (especially their teammates in the back). Just as the field-ops call in their Artiliery, Planes and… ammo crates.
  21. All players are in limbo…
  22. BOOM! Hitssolini’s bed needs making.

Next map the Allies are spawncamped.

Disclaimer: This post was meant in jest, if you don’t take it that way… find a new barber, and maybe some deck chairs. If you’ve bothered to read what this says then email mrtesstickles@hotmail.com informing him that you have done so.

(dime1622) #12

then we need a 7th team called “target practice”

i’m on that team :slight_smile:

(=DaRk=CrAzY-NuTTeR) #13

damn right :wink:

(mouse) #14

that post of tickels is an instant-classic imo :drink:

(evilsock) #15

the coverts throw in … their clothes in a desperate attmept to scare the Allies into believing that there are ghosts in the shape of their dead teammates trousers who’ve come back to haunt them because they failed to give them appropriate cover in the past.

heh -That made me laugh out loud :slight_smile: Good one!

(SwordOfDamocles) #16

FFS!

(Bongoboy) #17

Guys, guys! This is BRILLIANT! Why didn’t we think of this before?
Stand by for a new patch. No, wait, a whole new exe. No, dammit, this calls for a brand new title…
EVERYONE WARS! Infinite numbers of one-player teams! XP awarded for every successful Change Weapon! Random Grenade Fuze times! Rubber bullets! Knife replaced by feathered tickling stick!

…

OK, everyone back to work.

:moo:

(Mr_Tickles) #18

And what is so wrong about a tickling stick? :stuck_out_tongue:

(evilsock) #19

Is that a replacement for the rifle 'nade - I’m all in favour of that if it is :slight_smile:

(CM..Punk) #20

Random Grenade Fuze times? Man if only shrub was still updated that idea would be in it in a flash