Sorry. This game isn’t for me. If it’s so damn awesome on the PC, then have at it, because on Xbox 360, it’s broken and I refuse to waste anymore of my precious time in lagtacular public matches.
Sadly, lag isn’t the biggest problem facing Broke Brink. Read on.
My first foray into Broken Brink was in the Challenges, because this appears to be the only place where you can unlock stuff for your guns. I tried to play co-op with three other buddies and it turned into Super Bot hell. On two separate occasions, I was one shot after emptying my clip into a bot. Twice. There was two things I was doing wrong. First, you can’t unlock stuff when you play co-op, which the game DOESN’T EVER TELL YOU. I had to learn the hard way. Second, the single player challenges are mind numbingly easy, which means that the more people you add to the challenges, the more difficult it gets. This kind of makes sense, but the challenge we faced with four players made me want to throw the game out within the first 30 minutes of playing it.
What’s next on the suck-go-round that is Broke Brink? Lag, naw, we’ll save that for later. How about the ineffectual explosions. Grenades in Broke Brink explode like someone threw a balloon of a baby powder at you. The explosions are the equivalent of farting flour on a warm summer day. The explosions are so nondescript that you may not even notice that they’re happening in a game. On more than one occasion, I had fired my grenade launcher, and after not seeing the explosion, I immediately tried to fire again. How does this happen? Really? How does happen to top quality video game. Who sees that and says, “Yep, that’s pretty ****ing cool.” Who is this person??? I’d like to slap them. Seriously… Right. In. The. Face.
Oh yeah, next up on this craptrain is the lack of party support. So, if you’re in a party on XBL and you want to play in a match with friends, you can’t all join a game without one of your party joining it first. In Broken Brink, you have to enter a public game by yourself and then invite your party from the pause menu… And then hope they all get in. This is inexcusable. This is something that would be in a XBL launch title, not a AAA game coming out today. THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR THIS. I bet the same guy that oversaw the grenade explosions thought it was a good idea to bypass this feature. Total amateur hour.
As the turd wagon rounds the bend, we’ve finally come to “the gunplay sucks” town. At this stop, we find out, unfortunately, that in Broke Brink, shooting stuff, IN A SHOOTER, is really not that fun. Headshots are not instant killers, for the most part, and all of the weapons are roughly the same in terms of, well, everything, with only slight sound adjustments… for the most part. Everyone is a bullet sponge. It’s just not fun. The game plays more like an MMO than a shooter, which is fine if you’re into that, but I’m not. DO NOT WANT.
Oh yeah, and if you want to silence some douche that has his parakeet next to him the entire game, YOU CAN’T. Thanks Broke Brink. No option to mute people? Thanks…
Last, but certainly not least, is the crippling net code. Lag. I tried in vein to get into a lag free match last night. After four attempts, I gave up. I simply don’t have the time fuss with the game. I’m sorry. I don’t.
The problems in the game are not “teamwork” or whatever people are blathering about. It’s far worse. But please, don’t take my word for it, fork over £40 and find out for yourself
Splash Damage is what my toilet gets after a curry.
