Activision buys Splash Damage

(Stroggafier) #1

Atherfield Green, Isle of Wight. April 1, 2010.
Secretly leaked from the news room of the aquatic games magazine, The Frail Pool:

In a very soon to be published news release, spokesperson Lars Pofilo will announce the purchase of Splash Damage Ltd. by the game industry giant, Activision Publishing Inc.

Activision has several studios, including Beenox, a Canadian based design group, Bizarre Creations out of Liverpool UK, and FreeStyleGames, also located in the UK. Soon to be added to their stable of talent, will be Splash Damage, a London England based firm, known for development of the critically acclaimed Wolfenstein: Enemy Territory and its #1 PC hit Enemy Territory: Quake Wars

After months of secret negotiations with top executives at both companies, a deal had finally been struck late last night. The exchange is rumoured to include stock for cash swaps, a large monetary settlement for top brass and even Splash Damage’s tapir mascot, which will now be owned and fed by Activision.

Although not officially confirmed by Activision, industry insiders have it that the real motivation behind the deal is acquisition of SD’s newest, highly anticipated, first person shooter, BRINK. The game, slated for release in a few short months, would have been a major threat to Activision’s flagship Call of Duty franchise. From skulking in the back rooms, this reporter has learned that Activision plans to delay the release of BRINK until their ubiquitous Call of Duty franchise has overwhelmed the hearts and minds of the playing community.

When asked to comment, Raul Sedgewood, of Splash Damage replied that the news leak was “Mortifying!” and later added, “Meh. I’ve had worse.” Well dear readers, we’ve all heard that before.

Spokespersons from either company could not be reached for further comment.

(Pegazus) #2

Raul Sedgewood, is he the stroggified version of Paul Wedgwood? :infiltrator:

(Nail) #3

well, it is April 1, bad joke though

(redbeardraven) #4

[QUOTE=Stroggafier;220738]Atherfield Green, Isle of Wight. April 1, 2010.
Secretly leaked from the news room of the aquatic games magazine, The Frail Pool:

In a very soon to be published news release, spokesperson Lars Pofilo will announce the purchase of Splash Damage Ltd. by the game industry giant, Activision Publishing Inc.

Activision has several studios, including Beenox, a Canadian based design group, Bizarre Creations out of Liverpool UK, and FreeStyleGames, also located in the UK. Soon to be added to their stable of talent, will be Splash Damage, a London England based firm, known for development of the critically acclaimed Wolfenstein: Enemy Territory and its #1 PC hit Enemy Territory: Quake Wars

After months of secret negotiations with top executives at both companies, a deal had finally been struck late last night. The exchange is rumoured to include stock for cash swaps, a large monetary settlement for top brass and even Splash Damage’s tapir mascot, which will now be owned and fed by Activision.

[B]Although not officially confirmed by Activision, industry insiders have it that the real motivation behind the deal is acquisition of SD’s newest, highly anticipated, first person shooter, BRINK. The game, slated for release in a few short months, would have been a major threat to Activision’s flagship Call of Duty franchise. From skulking in the back rooms, this reporter has learned that Activision plans to delay the release of BRINK until their ubiquitous Call of Duty franchise has overwhelmed the hearts and minds of the playing community.

When asked to comment, Raul Sedgewood, of Splash Damage replied that the news leak was “Mortifying!” and later added, “Meh. I’ve had worse.” Well dear readers, we’ve all heard that before.[/B]

Spokespersons from either company could not be reached for further comment.[/QUOTE]

You had me going until the bolded section. Also, no reference gave it away! Nice joke though you rascal!

(Paul) #5

I love it, you scared be too death with the title :expressionless: Thanks god it’s a joke!

Excellent job though, looks very real in the first place :wink:

(Stroggafier) #6

Hehehe. Thanks.

Well, if the acronyms “Frail Pool” and “Lars Pofilo” didn’t give it away, then Raul was the final nudge. :stroggbanana:

(Stroggafier) #7

Hehehe, Thanks.

Well, if the anagrams “Frail Pool” and “Lars Pofilo” didn’t give it away, then Raul would just have to step up. :stroggbanana:

Edit: Yes, exactly, @Pegazus. Hehehe.

(Berzerkr) #8

This was a very bad joke.
:flamethrower:

(Stroggafier) #9

tough crowd :slight_smile:

(brbrbr) #10

and thus Activision, incorporate all major gamedev players ?
become entitled MS-EA-Blizzard-ZM-Codemaster-Ubisoft-Atari.
competition ? pff… what for ?
give up money and quick !
products ? what for ? now.

p.s.
“i want to beleive” ©
but sadly, can’t

(stealth6) #11

first sentence gave it away, really who puts a date in their post?

(INF3RN0) #12

This is the kind of joke where no one laughs afterwords, instead its a BIG sigh of relief :tongue:.

(Stroggafier) #13

its an old newspaper format, @stealth6 called a “dateline” (although I knew it would be a clue to some, albeit incorrectly drawn)

Indeed, its the kind of gag that makes us all realize just how lucky we are. :slight_smile:

(Nail) #14

meh, story had more holes than a screen door

(sohnclaire) #15

Ah…thats gone be witty now…i dont know what they gone do with splash…:armadillochase:

[QUOTE=Stroggafier;220738]Atherfield Green, Isle of Wight. April 1, 2010.
Secretly leaked from the news room of the aquatic games magazine, The Frail Pool:

In a very soon to be published news release, spokesperson Lars Pofilo will announce the purchase of Splash Damage Ltd. by the game industry giant, Activision Publishing Inc.

Activision has several studios, including Beenox, a Canadian based design group, Bizarre Creations out of Liverpool UK, and FreeStyleGames, also located in the UK. Soon to be added to their stable of talent, will be Splash Damage, a London England based firm, known for development of the critically acclaimed Wolfenstein: Enemy Territory and its #1 PC hit Enemy Territory: Quake Wars

After months of secret negotiations with top executives at both companies, a deal had finally been struck late last night. The exchange is rumoured to include stock for cash swaps, a large monetary settlement for top brass and even Splash Damage’s tapir mascot, which will now be owned and fed by Activision.

Although not officially confirmed by Activision, industry insiders have it that the real motivation behind the deal is acquisition of SD’s newest, highly anticipated, first person shooter, BRINK. The game, slated for release in a few short months, would have been a major threat to Activision’s flagship Call of Duty franchise. From skulking in the back rooms, this reporter has learned that Activision plans to delay the release of BRINK until their ubiquitous Call of Duty franchise has overwhelmed the hearts and minds of the playing community.

When asked to comment, Raul Sedgewood, of Splash Damage replied that the news leak was “Mortifying!” and later added, “Meh. I’ve had worse.” Well dear readers, we’ve all heard that before.

Spokespersons from either company could not be reached for further comment.[/QUOTE]

(offwrk007) #16

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