From day one, I talked this game up to everyone. I told them it was going to change the genre, and I was even telling some people to just pick it up on launch because I was so sure they wouldn’t be disappointed that I made the suggestion without a second thought. A game that bridges the gap between single player and multiplayer MUST be a revolutionary game. A game that focuses not only on the shooting, but teamwork and objective gameplay, it sounded like the kind of game I’d been waiting for to break into the modern gaming arena and change everything.
Well, it couldn’t be farther from that. I feel like everything I read, heard, or saw through videos was a complete and utter lie. It was made to look like this incredible game, and after getting my hands on it I’d say it was perfectly orchestrated. Paul Wedgewood, our smug little pudgy friend, really played it off like some masterpiece. I should’ve trusted my first instincts, but no, I had faith in him. Even though he spoke annoyingly and even looked so, I ignored those things and didn’t doubt him once.
The bots are a mess (which I learned tonight that they released a patch TO MAKE THEM MORE DIFFICULT AND MORE FRUSTRATING), the online multiplayer is pretty much non-existent, and every other feature of the game such as challenge mode, is complete and utter garbage. The assault rifles don’t shoot straight, hipfire is grossly inaccurate at just about any range but touching distance, the “parkour” feels clunky and looks ugly when it happens, the leaning is next to useless against anyone but human opponents, grenades are like turds, I just can’t say enough.
Before I piss you all off more than you can handle though, I’ll wrap it up.
I’d never played a Splash Damage game before in my life, but in the future, I’ll know just who to avoid when I hear the word “revolutionary” getting thrown around. I’ll duck and cover, hide under a table, chant while holding a cross, whatever it takes to get the ****ty taste of another possible “masterpiece” out of my mouth.
If SD didn’t have fans like you, they’d disappear like cotton candy in a ****ing hurricane. They are so lucky they’ve got folks like you who are happy with what they call “functional video games.”
Personally, I hope their ship sinks to the bottom of the proverbial sea. Pretty sad when I had more fun on the forums than with the game itself. See you guys later. You’ve been decent to me. :stroggbanana: :stroggbanana: :stroggbanana: :stroggbanana: :stroggbanana: :stroggbanana: