Proxxy CDA Interview. [FANFICTION]


(Despaniard) #1

Bullets. Fast bullets. Fast bullets that go ping on the concrete some inches above my head. God, I hate bullets.

Life as me should be easy. Fix the EV, escort it to the lift and deliver the EMP charges to the PCO building. At least life should be easy if it weren’t for the mercenaries hired to guard said building.

Every bullet hole I plug three more take its place. And you’d think that my “teammates” keep me save as I fix the EV. NOOOO. They are too busy in the field of battle to keep little me save. And then when our bosses tell us to retreat they start complaining loudly how useless I am! Well excuse me! I’m the one getting her ass shot at by snipers and defense turrets!

It’s usually Skyhammer and Arty the ones that complain. Yeah right mate! They don’t miss the chance to tell me, “If only you had gone for the objective, we would not have failed the mission.” Well I’m sorry I was ducking bullets and bloody missiles!

It also doesn’t help that both Sky and Arty yell out like they are paid to give dead giveaways to the enemy team when they call in an airstrike or something like that. But what is worst is that insufferable, full of himself, absolute ass of an American.

All the time, it’s like clockwork. My teammates will suddenly need medical assistance having their arm reattached, or their leg sown up, or their blooming guts put back in. And every time I’m working on the EV, I see him in the distance, and what’s worse, I know he knows that I see him. He has this look in his eyes, this almost taunting look to him. It’s like he’s telling me, “Oh Proxxy, you are wasted with those idiots. But hey, family sticks to family, right?”
Gahh! I can’t take his taunting anymore! I just can’t deal with it. Worse was the time when my entire team had pulled ahead so far that I was the only one defending the objective. I’m not paranoid, but that spook was right next to me the whole time, getting a kick out of me looking around the whole blooming time for him.

<Miss Wells, please continue. What happened with your team?>

I don’t care what happened to the damned bastards! Blooming well they got themselves killed like it was nothing. You can’t send an engineer like me to both babysit idiots and expect her to also complete the mission by her lonesome!
You know what? I’d like to thank that American jackass. Phantom, or whatever the bloody hell his real name is. He had the opportunity to do what I should have done weeks ago, when I first saw my idiot filled team.

<Miss Wells, your team was filled with deadly professiona–>

Professionals?! Arty would designate an artillery strike in my EV, because there would be an enemy sticky grenade stuck to it! Skyhammer would throw his drone strike designate indoors. In-blooming-doors! I was lucky I wasn’t inside whenever he did something as stupid as that. I watched as a building once collapsed on top of on enemy mercenary because Skyhammer had called the strike inside. Sure, Arty and Skyhammer thought it was awesome and epic.
<Come now Miss Wells, you must be exaggerating.>

Exaggerating. You know what Rhino did when I told him I thought Phantom was nearby? He laughed so hard to the front, I knew before it happened that he would be calling for medical assistance as soon as he was out of eyesight from me. And not because he wanted to be safe, no, it was because Phantom would have downed him as soon as I couldn’t see anything.

<Are you saying that Phantom had a soft spot for you? Is that why you were never attacked by him?>

Oh for the love of— Sure. I don’t know for sure, but yeah. Let’s say he had a soft spot for me.

<Thank you for accepting this interview. The information will be sent to CDA HQ, where it will be analyzed in your… case.>

No it won’t.

<I’m sorry?.. Miss Wells, please, sit down. There is nowhere for you to go. GYAAAH!>

Thanks Phantom.

“No problem… Proxxy.”

FYI, I furiously ship Phantom and Proxxy. Just so you know where this is going.


(DootyBomb) #2

awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww <3


(NxA_Noxie) #3

This is so amazing!!! I LOVE it!!! Proxy and Phantom! If you write more tag me in the post <3


(Despaniard) #4

@NxA_Noxie Will do