Alright we’re back at it again.
Remember that these stereotypes are exaggerated for da’ lolz, don’t get offended if your stereotype has some negativity in it, blah blah blah.
Bushwhacker
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This guy somehow manages to be bad at a character with an autoaim ability. He can usually be seen pointing his turret at a wall, running around with the KEK and ADSing at close range. If you see this guy just try to help point him and his turret in the right direction. Even a nub can be effective when his turret actually locks onto something.
The Blishlok
This guy is usually two things: A new player or an absolute God. The new player probably got this card from a random drop Loadout Case and said “Oh look this gun has a Red Dot Sight, like in Call of RainbowField!” only to realize that they can’t compensate the increased recoil and spread, and just swap back to Skyhammer and use the M4A1. The God tier BW is almost the complete opposite. He definitely has a Cobalt version of whatever Blishlok loadout he’s using, probably has that Cobalt KMA Weapon skin for the Blishlok, and just doesn’t seem to be able to die. His tracking will always be suspicious, and when you look at his Steam profile you see that he’s gotten at least 92 hackusations (according to him). He can usually be seen deleting people’s skulls with headshots while also simultaneously bitching about how broken the game is every time he walks into a Javelin rocket that came from across the map towards his turret that is in an obvious sniper sightline. He’s not necessarily a God at Bushwhacker, but more of a God with the Blishlok, because this stereotype could apply to all the other mercs who can use the Blishlok.
Moral of the story, be cautious. Because this person could either miss every shot or land every single one of ‘em.
The SMG-9
These guys are usually pretty chill, gameplay and personality wise. They realize that the SMG-9 is arguably the worst of Bush’s SMG’s (and all of the other ones, for that matter), but still use it just because they like the feel of its consistency. They’re not pubstompers, but they can easily hold their own in a gunfight, and they usually have pretty good turret placement. Overall, having this guy on your team is usually a FeelsGood, and getting killed by him is just hard to get mad about. Because it’s the SMG-9. How can you hate it?
The KEK-10
This is the Bushwhacker main. Doesn’t matter what loadout, doesn’t matter what card, if he’s using this gun, he definitely thinks he’s a real Cowboy. This gun isn’t necessarily a Warpig (an item in a videogame that makes the user think they are better than most other users, simply because they have the item equipped), because most Bushwhacker mains are pretty humble, but they will argue tooth-and-nail that the KEK-10 is the best SMG for Bushwhacker and the Crotzni is for them thar’ commies. This guy will also let you know everytime he puts his turret in a spot that literally every other Bushwhacker puts it in, and then look at you weird when you tell them that it’s not exactly a good spot. They’re the one’s playing Bushwhacker, so they get to decide where it goes. Right?
Kushwanker
This guy used to be a “Trollwhacker”. Y’know, the guys who tried to trap people inside of their turrets? Yeah, you guys remember who tried to do that? Good times. Anyways, these guys took their Trollwhacker nature and decided to just f*ck around. They’re the guys who point their turrets towards a wall, put their turrets right next to yours (no matter how many times you tell them not to), and always have Cobalt Blishlok cards for some reason. They’re less trolls and more just dicks. They don’t intentionally try to lose, but they really like to make it harder for you to win.
The C41-er
This is the “metaslave” (notice the quotes). He’ll always make sure you know that he’s using it, he’ll always have it in Cobalt or Special Edition, and he’ll always get triggered when his turret gets destroyed, instantly blaming the team for the death of his turret. Ironically, he also scoffs at the next stereotype for being a metaslave.
The BL81-er
This is the Warpig who thinks he’s the metaslave, just because he uses this card. Yeah, it’s the only Bushwhacker card with both of the turret augments, but this guy thinks he a god among men, simply because his turret takes like one more bullet. It’s possible that this person could also fall into the “Blishlok” stereotype, but it’s not likely. They’re using the definitive turret loadout, so it’s doubtful they pride themselves on their good aim.
And that’s that for Mr. Fitzmorgan. On to the Turkish Tortuga.
Turtle
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As always, this guy is most likely a new player. It’s possible that he may just be using this card because they don’t have it in a higher rarity, but it’s pretty unlikely that someone who actively plays Turtle doesn’t already have the card he wants in a decent rarity. As the little baby Turtle, this guy will usually forget that he even has a shield and will run around with the S&W just because he thinks “Oh look, he’s got a Magnum!”. If he does manage to actually place his shield down, you bet your *ss that it’s gonna be in spawn and will never be reclaimed or placed in a spot that’s actually… y’know, useful.
Cobalt Turtle
This guy is an achievement hunter. I mean, yeah, they might have gotten it in a case or maybe they just enjoy playing Turtle and wanted to prove their dedication to this Turkish amputee. But let’s be honest, this guy just got it because they want to get the damn achievement and say they got it and wasted their time actually trying to use the fuckin’ crafting system. Woopdie-friggin’-doo.
Obsidian Operative
This guy was way too hyped for Turtle. And they know it. We were all hyped for Turtle, but this guy was a bit over the top. The second that he saw that like millisecond long animation of Turtle busting down the vault door, he probably passed out. So when he saw that there was an Obsidian card, no no, a remodel for Turtle… well, you bet your ass that he bought it the second he got the chance. Then he actually looked at the new skin, and the piece of dogshat on his head that he calls a haircut, and said “…well, I mean it looks _okaaay. _” And now he forces himself to use Poopy Head McShellface everytime he plays Turtle, and says “No, I do like the skin, I really really do,” when people call him out for it.
That’s pretty much it for Turtle. Yeah, I know there was only 3 but Turtle’s still somewhat new and there aren’t many stereotypes for him. It’s either “He’s an idiot,” or “Yeah, he’s pretty good.”
Tell me what ya think!