Phantom
Who?
Phoenix
This Super Spanish Surgeon is the silly start of a salt war every other day on these forums between who’s better, Sawbonez or him. Shush, they’re both good, and each has moments where they outclass the other. Here’s the thing though, this is one of those characters we don’t know the name of, but his name actually really freaking fits him. The Phoenix was a firebird that would revive itself out of it’s own ashes to live and kill again. Out of all the names SD could have picked, it’s perfect. And to all the people saying he’s Jesus, HE’S SPANISH… FROM SPAIN! JESUS’S ARE ONLY IN MEXICO AND THE BIBLE. Also, you have to remember, Phoenix CAN actually die. He can only self revive when he’s downed, just like everyone else on his team. All this really boils down to… is that Phoenix ain’t no pussy, even if he has only 100 health. He doesn’t need no man nor woman to help him get back up on his feet, just a bit of time to gather all of his awesomeness after it was shot all over the place. So… let’s delve into what “needs” fixing:
Changes - Phoenix doesn’t fly, and he’s certainly not using fire. Fix this ASAP, or give him taunts relative to this nickname. Crap, I already play him like a crazy suicidal flying Spanish Musketeer anyway. Also, his lore and ability make no sense in the world Splash Damage has created, since they’re trying to make it based somewhat in the modern world, with little bits of futuristic stuff. The fact that these silly London devs believe we are capable of mass human reconstruction using nanites in only 3 years is about as world wrecking as it could get. It makes more sense for him to have been on his way to London for a Medical black-market meeting as the Dirty Bombs hit and he was irradiated into a perfect human being that could control his form with thought. Thus, he presumed the form he wanted, and once familiar with his team could at times burst out his concentrated power and heal them too.
So, I propose that SD either admit that this healing nanites idea is stupid and he’s a mutant freak, or allow his backstory to be further developed or his nanites linked to something so that we’re not just sitting here scratching our heads and perplexed. Also, if they take either route, he should already be allowed to fly and his Nanites/“reconstruction power” should be able to do much more than just heal…
! I even have 8 pages of bio that could link Phoenix’s nanites with stolen tech similar to Kira’s situation and a very convincing backstory that already fits with his current one. SENPAI NOTICE ME.
Proxy
This lithe combat engineer is one perky little bugger. Bad Proxies are some of the stupidest things in the planet. You’d think a born and raised London gal like her wouldn’t run into walls and place mines in the most obvious dumb spots imaginable. Yet… the good ones are about as frightening as good Phoenix or Vassili players. Her name is cute too, admittedly. Proxy, proximity mine. I can only think of a few issues she honestly has…
Changes - Really… Proxy, you’ve had a BLOODY wet medical patch thing covering half your face for like a year now. You’ve got to change that more often, hasn’t Sparks taught you ANYTHING? Aren’t you making enough money to just afford a black eyepatch by now, let alone pay someone, ANYONE to fix it? For someone who’s bio includes the words: “she saved her family from the Dirty Bomb contamination by swiftly improvising a CBRN filtration system from bin liners, a domestic vacuum cleaner, and duct tape. She’s proved just as resourceful on the battlefield, making her one of the most in-demand combat engineers working today.” You’re acting pretty freaking stupid. I get recycling and using what you’ve got, but if you’re that IN-DEMAND, then at least you can afford Phoenix’s Medical Bills! Wait… he pays in death usually, nevermind, don’t go to him. SD, please just fix her eye, soon… Or give her a cool eye-patch… she needs SOMETHING. Your lore and storyline being halted like this is just aggravating. Speaking of that quote, if she’s proved JUST AS USEFUL on the battlefield, one, how come she can’t easily save people’s lives, and two, how come she hasn’t destroyed the freaking world already? She has military supplies now, and with the ingenuity of a world class engineer, with the tenacity of a Soccer Mom hellbent on recycling the world… well, you’d expect more. I mean, look at it this way: She made a certified quality level of an air filtration system that allowed her family to stay and live in London during dirty bomb attacks… Out of Duct Tape, a Vacuum Cleaner, and bin liners… At a minimum she’s got guns, data, explosives, money, military science officers, and far more technology than vacuum cleaners and duct-tapes… Probably access to WD40 now that I think about it, and she can’t even fix her eye? This sounds much more like some Dirty Bomb universe version of Darth Plagueis than some over-talented snobby Engineer. Wait… does that mean eventually you’ll kill her? YES, ITS ALL FINE, KEEP HER! Make her die to her own pancakes! Oh geez… this turned into a rant, not a change list… just… for pete’s sake, either kill her off already or fix her eye. Also, give her random inventions she can create by taking people apart or scavenging junk. The mines are getting old anyway.
Red Eye
“Not to be confused with Pink Eye…”
! His main problems include lack of maps that he gets to easily shine on, his smoke not really being effective, and his gun assortment allowing him to be a major pain in anyone’s butt, overpowering him despite his rather crappy abilities. Ironically, these are all real problems pointed out by veteran DB forum members. But, we’ll fix them… creatively-ish.
This dude is in his 60s after a lifetime of failed military adventures, and an Austrailian American, who turned to a life of Mercenary work?.. Huh… seems legit. Maybe the legend about his smoke grenades being filled with weed-smoke actually occurs from time to time…
Changes - Look, his utilities are kinda dumb, even though he’s the most evil thing in ranked right now – right up there with Thunder (clearly my opinion). Please, give his smoke grenade true vision blocking, and not allow players to see through it easily. Either do that, or make it really weed, and anyone in it has disoriented vision and complains. OR you could totally make his goggles an always scanning and relaying item, so that if he sees you, you’re marked, period. And he can turn on the IR part to see through his crappy smoke. At a minimum, if you don’t make any of those changes, at least let his goggles pick up things like turrets etc… you have no idea how painful it is, to just be willy nilly using it, not got smoke or anything, and some targets don’t even APPEAR, like, HUMAN targets too! FIX THAT, or disable it. Not a hard to apply fix in what was said, very hard on your end to isolate the bugs I’m sure… Also, on Halloween, you totally have to make him that farting ghost off of Ghostbusters and his smoke comes out of his face. That totally fits him.
Also, if you in any way give him taunts related to MGS, everyone will love you. Take one copyright claim for the team, Amirite?