Kooky Balance Changes - PART TWO/4.75!? [SATIRE]

(pumpkinmeerkat) #21

Double Time augment on all mercs (excluding Thunder) upgraded to Desperation augment - when reloading while sprinting empty mags are thrown dealing 170 damage to Thunder, 1 damage to all other mercs. Friendly Phantoms hit with mag receive Beyblade buff.

(Nail) #22

not on this forum, serious doesn’t last long here

have a good day

(GatoCommodore) #23

Rhino will be need to hit on 2 different side to damage

(Nail) #24

lol, try here, people are a little more sane

(BlackboltLW) #25

Change Phantom’s face with Tom Cruise and give him ability to slide over car while he shoots

(Your worst knifemare.) #26

So skyhammer is Naders wife? Knew it from the start.

More of the “best” ideas for DB:

Thunder gains a new ability that only works on medics. He gives them a ring and tries convincing them to marry him. Theres a 6% chance that it works. If it works he gains 500 extra health, if it fails he dies of rejection.

If using a laser indoors it breaks through the roofs of any buildings because it’s a laser.

Rhino can charge across a large area to knock over and crush people.

Sparks can fly using the power of her angel trinket.

Arty can walk through walls using his ghost trinket.

Proxy can…clean chimmneys with her trinket.

Aura can now whack people with her health station if its not deployed.

(Your worst knifemare.) #27

[quote=“Mc1412013;c-226877”][quote=“Lord_Coctus;c-226868”]

Oh but there is already.
[/quote]

I know but i dont have one :frowning:
[/quote]

My favorite Phantom loadout, also comes with undercover if you feel scummy.

(Mc1412013) #28

Lets replace proxy mines with mine turtles so we can finaly get turtle released(sort of)

https://youtu.be/nk7QqknyusQ

(AlbinMatt) #29

If Aimee and Proxy are in the same team, give them new chat options so they can bicker about what happened to Bashki like how two wives would argue about what happened to their husband.

(Mc1412013) #30

Or If there on oposite teams they argue with each other like they had the worlds worst break up as they fire at each other

(AlbinMatt) #31

@Mc1412013 I had always found it absurd how taunts can be picked up by the enemy team’s radio transmission. Seems like a serious security breach if you ask me.

Also, why couldn’t have Stoker won the ReV? Imagine how amazing​ it would be to have two sociopaths cross fire with each other! We already had a bunch of lesbian memes from Nader, we don’t need another one

(K1X455) #32

[quote=“Lord_Coctus;c-226909”]

Thunder gains a new ability that only works on medics. He gives them a ring and tries convincing them to marry him. Theres a 6% chance that it works. If it works he gains 500 extra health, if it fails he dies of rejection.

…

Aura can now whack people with her health station if its not deployed.[/quote]

I like this bit, specially with Aura. Gives her more punch for being a glass cannon :slight_smile:

But I’m not comfortable with Thunder giving Sawbonez or Phoenix a ring… I feel like… it’s insta-death… idk… it’s just me

(AlbinMatt) #33

We need a medic that actually reciprocates Thunder’s love.

(AlbinMatt) #34

Stoker’s molotovs are seriously underpowered, which is why we should turn his mollies into portal transponders to hell. It will be open for the rest of the match, and anyone who cones even a milimeter within its vicinity (of which is a 20 m radius) will be dragged into hell, and be instantly kicked off the match.

(TheStrangerous) #35

Thy can’t we rocket jump in DB?!

Old School Shooter My A***! Nader and Fragger should grenade jump, Fletcher should sticky jump and Javelin should rocket jump. Oh, and Thunder should conc jump, like in TFC.

(Your worst knifemare.) #36

[quote=“TheStrangerous;c-227131”]Thy can’t we rocket jump in DB?!

Old School Shooter My A***! Nader and Fragger should grenade jump, Fletcher should sticky jump and Javelin should rocket jump. Oh, and Thunder should conc jump, like in TFC.[/quote]

Can we also let Sky nade jump and Kira laser jump.

Also let Bush turret jump like you can in tf2

(Mc1412013) #37

I always thought pheonix should be able to heal concs

(AlbinMatt) #38

@Mc1412013 Heal concs? How the hell do you heal a military-grade flashbang?

(Xenithos) #39

I literally read what he said and burst out laughing so hard.
However, thinking about it more, Phoenix DOES use Nanites… so instantly correcting an eyeball would be possible, just… kind of a waste?

(Your worst knifemare.) #40

Yeah it seems pretty wasteful trying to fix an eye thats only blinded for only a few seconds.

Not sure what his reason for Proxy would be though.