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You too can reap the benefits from a high skilled* group of mercenaries known as Jeff K’s Discount Mercenaries™! It’s so affordable and easy to hire you’re own private army with Jeff K’s Discount Mercenaries™!, we don’t even ask any questions! Murdering everything from babies, to slightly older babies, to old people (which are technically old babies anyways) our crack team of professionals* here at Jeff K’s Discount Mercenaries™! will be there to answer the call for you.
Should you ever be in need all you need to do is swing a dead cat over your head three times while performing the sacred incantation “leet liek jeff k” four times under the full moon, from there fill out form 72-B (in triplicate) and send it along to our people in HR. After that once you’ve completed your trial of carol you will be put in touch with one of our agents. Don’t worry, they’ll find you. They always do. Jeff K’s Discount Mercenaries™!