How to perform a blood sacrifice to RNGesus.


(gg2ez) #1

We all know that RNGesus controls a large portion of Dirty Bomb, whether it’s from the cards you get or the bullet spread on your gun. Day by day we ask ourselves the question: "What must we do to please this confusing being that is RNGesus?" Fear not, my friends! Today I will expose to you the secrets of pleasing RNGesus!

The Basics.

  • In order to please RNGesus, one must first learn the prayer of RNGesus. This draws RNGesus’ attention towards you. Learn it word by word, this is the foundation of all RNG.

    RNGesus,
    full of grace,
    Cobalts be with thee;
    blessed art thou amongst business models
    and blessed is the fruit of thy code, low percentages

    RNGesus, mother of rares,
    Pray for us F2Ps
    Now, and at the hour of our Leads,
    GabeN

Good, now that you know the calling of RNGesus, we may move onto the method of inducing his awesome power.

Blood sacrifice.

You will need:

  • Chalk (or salt)
  • Your PC and it’s monitor
  • Sharp blade
  • Blood
  • 6 Friends (preferably alive)
  • 6 D20 dice
  1. Draw a large hexagon with your chalk (or salt), each edge measuring 2m or more.
  2. Place a single D20 at each vertex (the points of the hexagon you silly) on the hexagon.
  3. Place your PC and monitor within at the center of the hexagon with Dirty BB active, about to open a case of your choice.
  4. Position a friend on each edge of the hexagon and direct them to start chanting the prayer of RNGesus in unison.
  5. Use the blade to make a small incision on your finger and place a few droplets of blood on the screen.
  6. Direct your friends to chant progressively louder.
  7. Click “open” and open your case, leave the roulette on.
  8. Join your friends in chanting.
  9. Collect your Silver or higher rarity card.

And now you know how to please RNGesus, no lamb sacrifices necessary.


(Pacmikey) #2

Elite cases for free? +1


(wolvie) #3

+1 Works every time. Got myself more cobalts than @Sniff now.


(BananaSlug) #4

GUYS DONT DO SACRIFICE, i sacrificed 15 gold for nothing and now i have 0 cool cards
we juat need get rid of that RNGesus !!!11!!1!1!!!1!


(gg2ez) #5

[quote=“BananaSlug;132041”]GUYS DONT DO SACRIFICE, i sacrificed 15 gold for nothing and now i have 0 cool cards
we juat need get rid of that RNGesus !!!11!!1!1!!!1![/quote]

You don’t sacrifice gold… You sacrifice blood. Didn’t you read the title?


(SereneFlight) #6

Didn’t have a time to prep all that shit so I tried tortilla chips… didn’t work :


(darlingClaymore) #7

we all know we would do this except we don’t have any friends.


(gg2ez) #8

Parents? Siblings? Cousins? Doesn’t need to be friends, just complying humans.


(BananaSlug) #9

[quote=“gg2ez;132045”][quote=“BananaSlug;132041”]GUYS DONT DO SACRIFICE, i sacrificed 15 gold for nothing and now i have 0 cool cards
we juat need get rid of that RNGesus !!!11!!1!1!!!1![/quote]

You don’t sacrifice gold… You sacrifice blood. Didn’t you read the title? [/quote]

i just mean that he/she/something dont care about sacrifices


(SereneFlight) #10

Parents? Siblings? Cousins? Doesn’t need to be friends, just complying humans. [/quote]
Would mother who I hate and despise work?


(gg2ez) #11

Parents? Siblings? Cousins? Doesn’t need to be friends, just complying humans. [/quote]
Would mother who I hate and despise work?[/quote]

Absolutely!


(iPod_) #12

Got a shitty gold, meh i’ll take it. Oh yeah, what do I do if the cut doesn’t stop bleeding?


(gg2ez) #13

Make more sacrifices!


(SteelMailbox) #14

I just sacrificed pickles and got the best K121 Fragger from alienware giveaway so…


(Snack Toxin) #15

Can’t we just sacrifice Sniff and all our problems be solved?

Please don’t hurt me if you’re reading this, Sniff. >_>


(SereneFlight) #16

This didn’t work. I want my money back.


(gg2ez) #17

The guide was free. Chant harder.


(SereneFlight) #18

Free? But all mi dosh was gone! D:


(BananaSlug) #19

The guide was free. Chant harder. [/quote]

but blood is expensive


(gg2ez) #20

The guide was free. Chant harder. [/quote]

but blood is expensive [/quote]

Okay. So who here actually read the guide? You don’t buy blood, you use your own.