Around two years ago I wrote a DB fanfic. Figured I'd share it.

(Randy_Justice) #1

Sup fellas. Well, I was looking back on my writing the other day, and decided that this was good enough to be worth sharing. When I wrote it, I was detrimentally self critical, which is why I tried to just sort of toss it out there and then forget about it, and why I didn’t share it here. Advice to aspiring writers: it’s probably not as bad as you think, and even if it is, constructive feedback is useful. So, without further ado:

Tear it apart if you like. I’ve got a thick skin. Much thicker than I did when I wrote it.
Don’t be discouraged by the romance tag. It’s pretty subtle until near the end. I tried to make it broadly appealing.
Honestly I think the weakest portion would be Sparks’s voice. I think I captured the American Midwest voice I wanted in the narrator, and my bud told me that I nailed Phantom, but Sparks felt lacking. I’d be interested to hear what you lot think.

(CyberVonCyberus) #2

pretty good, it was enjoyable to read

(Randy_Justice) #3

Thanks bud. I aim to entertain.